Friday, 12 September 2008

Onion hits bulleye again

Christian Couple Staying Together For Sake Of God

SANDUSKY, OH—Despite intense unhappiness and an ever-widening emotional rift between them, devout Christian couple Linda and Benjamin Dollinger told reporters Monday that they have decided to stay married for the sake of their only true lord, God. "We're afraid that if we get a divorce, He'll never forgive us," said Benjamin, 37, who admitted that he and Linda had recently started arguing in their car with the radio on so that God wouldn't hear them. "We try not to let on how bad things actually are, but I think that, at least on some level, He knows something is wrong." Linda said that she and Benjamin plan to stay committed to their loveless marriage "just until [they] die."

From here.


  1. Total weirdness. This is the kind of bizarre behavior that embarrasses many Christians like myself. I will say this, however. I have watched couples who decide to stay together for whatever strange reasons who later reap a restored joy-filled marriage. So, the only way to know whether their forgoing of divorce is a good choice is to check back with them in a year or two.

  2. Hey guys,

    The onion is a satirical newspaper of "made up news".



    Perhaps non reality based world views are impossible to satirize? Someone somewhere actually believes / behaves it.


    I have another example that we would all see as satire but is actually real - will post a link when on a comp with cut and paste.

  3. You're right. The Onion hits bullseye so much in its satire, that it really speaks truth. It's a great rag!